


Addict With a Pen

by KnownAsEmrys



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Is Bi, Depressed Dean, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Love Doesn't Cure Everything, M/M, Writer Dean Winchester, dean is bi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 03:41:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7084270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnownAsEmrys/pseuds/KnownAsEmrys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is the 36 year old author of several beloved books. He has a big house, two cats and a crippling loneliness.So in a desperate attempt to chase away his loneliness, he sets out to find a roommate because hey, they don't have to love you or even like you too much to stick around for awhile, right? He never expected for them to become so close or for the man to change his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Twist In A Blade Long Stuck

**Author's Note:**

> I felt inspired to start a new fic! Actually, a few, but this is the only one where I finished the first chapter.

 Dean stared at the screen in front of him blankly. The sun was just starting to rise, the soft flood of light in the room going unnoticed by its occupant. It wasn’t until the shadows of the room began to disappear that Dean finally moved.

He groaned in frustration and dropped his head onto his keyboard.

He was stuck. Completely and utterly stuck.

He had two weeks before he had to turn in a collection of short stories that went along with his best-selling series _Supernatural_ and he just couldn’t get the one labeled _What Is and What Should Never Be_ to work. Still, no matter how it ended up it couldn’t be as bad as the one he called _Bugs_ , which, even though he was aware it was awful, he was still going to submit just to fill his quota of ten short stories.

So far he had six short stories written and that fact caused anxiety to curl in his stomach. Why had he procrastinated so much? He’d had four months to write the stories, but instead of buckling down and getting them done he’d binge watched several shows on Netflix including Grey’s Anatomy, Lost Girl, Sense8, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and even Doctor Sexy in preparation for the new season.

_Idiot. I’m a goddamn idiot. Who’s an idiot? Me. That’s who._

His computer alerted him he was getting a video chat request.

He glanced up and saw a picture of his brother smiling with his arms wrapped around his finance.

 _Just four months and they’ll be married_ , he thought.

He accepted the request and his brother’s goofy grin greeted him.

“Hey Dean,” he said. “Rough night?”

“I have a serious case of writer’s block,” Dean grumbled, rubbing a hand over his tired face.

“What’s got you stuck?” Sam asked.

Talking it out sometimes helped Dean to get his creative juices flowing, but he really wasn’t in the mood. He’d been up all night and had managed to finish _Red Sky at Morning_ and start on the next story that stopped flowing as soon as he tried to create a dream world for his character Dean.

“It doesn’t matter,” Dean answered. “I’ll finish it later. How’s Jess? Has she finally realized she’s too good for you?”

Sam rolled his eyes as a smile settled on his face. “She just got promoted to partner.”

Despite how dead tired he was, Dean still managed to beam with pride. “Little Jessica Moore is one step closer to saving the world.”

Sam chuckled. “Don’t let her catch you call her little.”

Dean laughed too. “I may be a dumbass, but even I know better.”

They talked for about fifteen more minutes, just catching up about their last week. Being a writer meant that Dean sometimes got too distracted to answer calls or texts when he was on a roll and the only sure fire way was to get a response from him was to Skype him as it cut off the words and pulled him out of his head.

His family teased him constantly about being a hermit, but it didn’t bother him. Or at least it hadn’t until recently. Not until it started hitting him that he was thirty-six years old and barely left his house, that he hadn’t shared his bed with anyone but his cats in two years and that he only saw his family when they showed up unexpectedly at his doorstep.

After saving his story and shutting off his computer, Dean went downstairs to grab a bottle of water. He was greeted by Bucky and Poe darting in between his legs, almost tripping him as they raced to their empty food dish.

_Shit._

He had forgotten to feed them after dinner the night before.

“Sorry guys,” he apologized as he grabbed a can from the cupboard where he kept their food.

Bucky stood up on his hind legs and placed his two front paws on the side of Dean’s legs, meowing at him loudly.

“I know, I know, I’m a shitty owner,” Dean muttered as he opened the can.

Poe almost knocked the can out of his hand, causing him to get splashed with juice.

“Little asshole,” Dean mumbled, pushing the Brown Tabby out of his way as he plopped the can’s content into their dish.  

He petted both of his boys after they started to chow down before leaving their side to dispose of the can and wash his hands.

A yawn reminded him of his exhaustion.

“Goodnight boys,” he said as he left the kitchen.

He went upstairs, making a brief detour to his study to grab his phone off his desk, then went to his room.

He had three missed calls, six texts, and one voicemail from the one person he didn’t want to hear from at the moment.

Barry, his editor.

He decided to listen to the voicemail first.

_‘Dean, I know your silence means you’re working hard, but I really need you to call me back! The Milton Network is interested in turning The Judge into a TV Show! And we’ve got another offer, but I’ll only tell you about it if you call me back! ’_

Well that certainly caught Dean’s interest.

He called Barry who answered on the second ring. “Dean! Finally! I thought I was going to have to go over there and make sure you weren’t dead.”

“Only emotionally,” Dean laughed.

“You didn’t kill another character did you?” Barry asked.

“I guess you’ll find out, huh?”

Barry laughed this time.

“So, what was that second offer?” Dean prodded. He was fucking exhausted and would prefer to get this conversation out of the way and rejoice later.

“Do you think you could meet me at Java Jace’s in twenty?”

Dean bit back a groan. “Sure,” he said, keeping his irritation hidden.

“Great. See you soon.”

Dean hung up and forced himself to get dressed.

Five minutes later he was dressed in ratty jeans and a blue hoodie and was on his way to his favorite coffee joint.

He woke up a little on the drive as he listened to his cassettes.

Dean pulled into a space right by the doors to Java Jace. He took a moment to ready himself to talk to Barry ‘Ray of Sunshine’ Allen before finally getting out of the car and walking into the small coffee shop.

“Dean!” Barry called as soon as he walked in.

He spotted him in one of the booths lined up on the right wall of the shop.

_Let’s get this over with._

Dean plastered on a bright smile as he made his way over.

“I got you your favorite,” Barry told him as Dean slid into the opposite side of the booth.

“Thanks, man,” Dean said, looking at the bitter black liquid in front of him longingly,” but will you just get to the reason why you needed to meet at seven thirty in the morning?”

_If I drink that I won’t be up able to fall asleep as soon as I get home._

Barry nodded, straightening in his booth. “Right. Sorry. I forget you usually have barely gone to bed right now.”

Dean stole a precut half of Barry’s breakfast sandwich while he dug out something from his bag.

“So I got a call from the head of Ashcroft Studios and they want to turn Anathema into a movie!” Barry said excitedly as pulled out two big envelopes and set them down in front of Dean.

“A movie?” Dean asked, accidentally causing a bit of sausage to fall out of his mouth.

Barry made a face at that, then nodded at him with a genuine smile. “You’ve come a long way in sixteen years.”

Dean snorted.

He had no idea.

Barry was twenty nine and had only been Dean’s editor for four years. He had no idea the struggle it had been for his last editor, Marv, to make him a household name, nor how hard it had been for himself to make it to this point in his life.

“In one envelope is the contract with Ashcroft Studios and the other is from the Milton Network,” Barry explained as Dean picked one of them up. “Just read through them with Sam, and get back to me as soon as you can.”

Dean nodded.

“How are the short stories coming along?” Barry asked.

Dean tensed, not sure if he should go ahead and ask for an extension or if he should try to power through.

“You’re stuck.” Barry said, noticing his hesitation.

“No,” Dean lied.

Barry obviously saw through him, but didn’t call him out. “Good. Then I can’t _wait_ to read them.”

Barry didn’t wait for a response as he slid out of the booth, slipping his bag over his shoulders. “I’ll let you get home to sleep. I can’t have my favorite author burning out two weeks before a big deadline.”

Dean smiled at him, then nodded over to the register, “I’m gonna grab some grub first.”

Barry left with a friendly pat on his shoulder, then Dean went up to the counter and ordered a breakfast sandwich and an orange juice before heading home.

His boys were nowhere in sight when he returned home and the familiar loneliness washed over him. It’d been three years since Dean had anyone to be excited about him coming home. Three years since he’d last had the constant presence of someone who loved him.

The memory of a little boy and a little girl tackling him seconds after he walked into the door flashed in his mind, causing his heart to ache and his appetite to disappear. _Get it together, Winchester. You chose this life._

Dean put his breakfast in the fridge and ran up to his room to flop onto his bed. He laid there for a few minutes, trying to keep himself from crying, but the sadness he’d carried for the last three years was impossible to shove down this time.

The dam inside him broke.

He couldn’t hold it in anymore, so he’d cry himself to sleep and brush it off when he woke up.

__No big deal, right?_ _

_People break down every now and then right_? _It didn’t have to amount to anything_.

He buried his face in his pillow as the tears blurred his vision.

_Why are you crying? So you’re alone? You’ve been alone since you were sixteen. What’s the big fucking deal?_

Dean just nuzzled his pillow, ignoring that awful little voice in his head that always caused him pain.

That voice always spoke his worst thoughts and caused him to doubt himself and others. It was the voice that had surfaced after his dad had kicked him out for coming out as Bisexual and the voice that had kept him from getting too comfortable with his life ever since.

_Don’t be such a pussy. Even if you did find someone they wouldn’t love you enough to stick around long. They’d get tired of your mopey ass sooner or later._

Dean’s stomach became a pit of anxiety at those words.

_What if that’s true? What if no one can ever love me enough to stay?_

_You’ll die alone with your cats in your big fancy house. Leave all your money to your Niece and Nephews and eventually no one will even remember the name Dean Winchester._

Dean felt the bed shake twice, then eight paws walking across his back.

_You won’t have a legacy, just an unremarkable life alone._

Bucky butted his head against the side of Dean’s face and he could feel Poe laying on his back now.

He looked at the black cat. “Hi, Bucky,” he said, voice sounding too rough.

He petted the cat absently, allowing a brief reprieve from his thoughts, but they came back full force.

_The cats will find your body first and you know what they'll do when they get too hungry. Not that you'd blame them, but your brother would be scarred to find your half eaten face._

_And if that’s how your life will end, what was the point of it to begin with? What does it all mean if you have no one to share it with? Not even a friend. And let’s face it, you’re a shit friend and a shit person. Benny stopped trying three months ago, Ash barely texts you at all and Jo has to force her way over once a month. Sam and Ellen refuse to give up for now, but how long until they pull away like you did to them?_

Dean crushed Bucky to his chest in a hug. He couldn’t stop the hateful voice in his head as it only spewed his own thoughts he was too scared to confront himself with most of the time and he thought it was time he let the voice win.

_If only you could find a way to keep someone around without them having to love you or even like you too much. Maybe that would cure your pathetic loneliness._

Dean let the struggling cat go, but Bucky didn’t leave him, just stared at him in concern.

_Someone who'll stick around who doesn't have to love me or like too me too much._

It wasn’t until the feline reached for his face that an idea began to take shape.

Since he was done with romance, and another cat wouldn’t fill his needs, there was only one option: he had to get a roommate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the first chapter! 
> 
> The title of the fic comes from a twenty one pilots song of the same name.


	2. Dr. Novak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peek into Castiel's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the only chapter in Castiel's perspective. We'll see.

 “Wake up, Novak!”

Castiel groaned, slowly opening his right eye to see Felix standing over him. “What is it?” He asked.

“Go home. Dr. L’s orders,” answered the blonde man.

Castiel closed his eyes and stretched.

He’d had a thirteen hour delivery and come to the break room to sleep before he went to work in the office for the next day seeing as there wasn’t really a point in going home. It was a common occurrence and he'd been doing it for years, so he didn't really mind even though he sometimes felt like he was a zombie. 

“I can’t,” he finally said.

“You haven’t been home in three days,” Felix pointed out.

“I know, but my patients need me,” Castiel countered, opening his eyes and siting up to look at his coworker.

“According to Daphne, you only have an appointment with Miss Kingston and Dr. L said if she sees you at the office after that she’ll kick you out herself.”

Castiel sighed. “Fine.”

He’d hoped to stay so he could snatch up any new patients before Ezekiel, but as fate would have it his boss would rather he take a day off.

Castiel stood up, only swooping to get his phone off the coffee table while Felix dropped onto the couch.

“Dinner tonight?” Felix suggested.

“Sure. Indian?”

“I’ll pick it up and swing by just before that awful show you like comes on.”

Castiel opened his mouth to argue, but Felix turned his back to him and snuggled up against the back of the couch so he just rolled his eyes and left.

* * *

 

Castiel watched his patient squirm a little in her chair as he told that her body was healthy and normal and she didn’t have anything to worry about.

“If you have any questions, feel free to ask me,” he said.

She opened her mouth as if to say something, then shut it and looked down at his desk, blushing much like she had when he’d given her an external genital exam and explained what he was doing.

“Remember, I’m only here to help, I won’t judge you for anything you’d like to ask me about Jaime,” He reassured, hoping his expression came across as sincere.

She swallowed audibly, practically squeaking when she spoke, “Is sex supposed to hurt?” Her eyes shut tight after she asked.

Castiel was unfazed by the question. “No. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable. It’s a myth that it’s supposed to hurt the first time.”

She cracked an eye open to study him for a moment, then shut it again. “My first time hurt,” she admitted quietly.

“Jaime, I can give you some advice so it doesn’t hurt next time, but you have to open your eyes,” Castiel said.

He watched her patiently as she slowly opened her eyes and started to meet his.

Castiel loved his job. He loved helping women understand their body so they remained healthy, and he loved delivering babies as it was a special kind of amazing to help bring new life into the world. Still, connecting with his patients was in a whole other league.It usually took his patients awhile to warm up to him, especially the younger ones since he was a guy, but once they did it was a pure bond full of trust and openness.

After half an hour of giving advice and answering Jaime’s questions, he was free to go home.

“Heading home already, Dr. Novak?” Asked the receptionist, Daphne.

“Yes. Dr. L is forcing me to take the rest of the day off,” he informed her with a sigh of exasperation.

“You’re not excited to have the day off?” She guessed.

He shook his head. “No. I’d much rather work, but I know she’s right to force me to rest.”

“Damn right I am! Now get your ass out of here, Cassie!” Dr. L shouted from her office.

“Yes, ma’am!” He called, then to Daphne he said,”I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She nodded, smiling at him warmly.

He suspected the red haired receptionist had a crush on him, but he didn’t sleep with coworkers, a fact he hope he wouldn’t have to explain to her one day and make things awkward between them.

Castiel looked at the time on his phone. He still had seven hours before Felix was due at his apartment.

_What am going to do?_

He decided to stop at _Angelic Treats_ before he walked home.

“Hey, Cassie,” greeted his brother from behind the counter. “Want your usual?”

“Yes, please,” Castiel said, feeling himself perk up at the thought of his favorite treats.

“Alfie, make Cas his usual,” Gabriel called behind him before he grabbed a muffin and rung up a customer.

Castiel waited until the customer left before he walked over to his brother who leaned across the counter to hug him. “How ya been? I haven’t seen you in like a week.”

“I’ve been busy,” Castiel said, feeling a bit guilty.

“Too busy for coffee?” He asked skeptically.

“Good coffee at least,” Castiel replied.

Gabriel pulled away. “You’re still coming to dinner tomorrow, right?”

Castiel nodded. “I will be on call though.”

Gabriel sighed. “Always so busy,” he commented.

Alfie came up behind Gabriel and slid forward a white chocolate mocha, a bag with doughnut holes and box with a slice of pumpkin pie.

“How do you eat this stuff every week and not gain weight?” Alfie asked.

Castiel pulled out his wallet. “I do this amazing thing called running.”

“Ugh. I think I’ll just watch what I eat instead,” Alfie grumbled as he walked away.

Castiel chuckled and handed Gabriel the money he owed him, appreciating the discount his brother always gave him.

He stayed only a few more minutes to chat with his brother, only leaving when a customer came up to the counter.

Castiel sometimes envied his brother and not because he owned his own business, but because his life was where he wanted it to be. He had a successful shop, a gorgeous wife, two little girls and worked at his leisure and he was only thirty.

But Castiel knew it was his fault he didn’t have a family of his own. He’d chosen his job over every relationship he’d ever had without hesitation, which to him had been a sign that he didn’t love the other person enough.

Well, there had been one person he would give it all up for, but she wasn’t looking to settle down. Meg loved not being tied down, saying monogamy wasn’t natural, but there were times where he thought he saw _this sparkle_ in her eyes.  So he settled for being her booty call and best friend, still foolishly hoping she’d change her mind.

Castiel’s dug his phone out of his pocket as it started to ring.

_Meg._

“Hello, Meg,” he greeted.

“Hey, so I get off early tonight, and I was thinking we could have a little fun,” Meg said.

He smiled. “Sure, but you’ll have to wait until Felix leaves.”

She groaned. “Fine, just make sure you brush your teeth.”

“Only if you wear that red lipstick.”

“Should I wear my red lace-“

“Yes.”

Meg laughed. “See you tonight, Big Boy.”

He hung up, walking the rest of the way to his apartment with an obvious bounce in his step.

* * *

 

Castiel was surprised by how excited he was when he woke up from the nap he’d taken. It wasn’t like he hadn’t hung out with Felix a several times, so why did the thought of him coming over leave a twinge of excitement in his chest?

He wasn’t attracted to Felix and while they were close, he wouldn’t say they were best friends.

_So what is it?_

A knock on his door grabbed his attention and went to answer it.

“I brought your favorite,” Felix greeted, holding the bag of food up next to his head.

Castiel let him in and they scrambled to set up in the living room before Doctor Sexy started. Felix pretended not to like it, but Castiel knew better.  Felix lived for the drama.

The feeling in his chest didn’t leave him even as Doctor Sexy ended and he switched to the Voice, another show Felix pretended to hate.

It wasn’t until his friend announced he had to leave that the feeling dimmed. Castiel walked him to the door, his excitement finally dissipating when he shut the door.

Sadness settled in, even as he texted Meg she could come over now.

Castiel went to his kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water.

An ache curled in his chest and he finally realized why he’d felt excited earlier.

_I’m lonely. Probably more than I ever have been._

While it held true Castiel saw all the important people in his life a couple times a week, he never got to spend more than an hour or two with anybody before he was called off or they had to go.

_But what do I do about that? I don’t have time for dating and casual sex will only make things worse._

His phone buzzed.

**_Be there soon ;)_ **

_I should ask Meg._

* * *

 Castiel watched Meg dress, wishing she would stay, but knowing better to ask. It crossed a boundary Meg had set over a decade ago, and she never broke her own rules, well, at least when it came to them.

_If this is too confusing for you, Clarence, we should stop._

Those words spoken to him long ago had left a bitter ache in his chest because he didn’t want to stop, yet he knew it was unhealthy to let himself keep indulging in their arrangement.

“Meg, can I talk to you about something?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah, what’s up?” She asked, sitting on the edge of the bed so she could tie her boots.

“I think I’m lonelier than I realized,” he admitted. “When I was waiting for Felix I got really excited knowing I was going to have company and then he left and I…”

“Was disappointed?” She filled in. “Cassie, of course you’re lonely. All you do is work, eat and sleep.”

He sat up. “But what do I do? I don’t have time for dating and one night stands aren’t my thing anymore.”

Meg reached over and touched his face. “I know, so find a roommate.”

“A roommate?”

“Yeah. At least then you’ll have someone to come home to,” Meg said. 

_Why didn’t I think of that?_

"It's better than nothing," she added. "Or maybe you could get pet, if you don't want to live with a stranger, but I think a person would be better for you."

"At least people can talk back," he agreed.

"Then it's decided. You're getting a roommate."

He nodded, considering the pros and cons of having another person around.

_I won't be lonely._

_But another person might get in my way._

_But I could have someone to talk to. Someone to actually care if I don't come home for three days._

Meg kissed his forehead. “I have to go, but call me tomorrow?”

He nodded absently as he decided he could adjust to another person if it meant having someone to care for him. 

_A roommate sounds perfect. I’ll have more money and someone to come home to if I can manage to make friends with them._

Castiel wasn't attached to his apartment, it was just a place where he slept sometimes, so he thought moving in with someone was the better option, especially since his place was probably too expensive for someone to even only have to pay for half.

_But where to look?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this story without a plan, so tags will be added as the story takes shape! Also, Chapters will start getting longer!
> 
> Please let me know what you think so far!


	3. The Final Candidate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is flowing pretty easy so far.

Dean laughed deliriously as he stared at his computer screen. He only had two short stories to complete in eight hours, but he knew he couldn’t do it. Not only was he stuck but he’d been up for a day straight and he was burned out.

He only had one choice.

He found Barry’s name on Skype and pushed called, hiding his face behind his hands.

“Hi Dean,” Barry greeted, too happy for a call at 2AM.

“Barry,” Dean cried, drawing out the ‘y’ in his name.

“You need an extension, don’t you?”

Dean nodded, still covering his face with his hands.

Barry sighed. “Alright, I’ll tell Angela tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Care Bear,” Dean said as he dropped his head to his desk in relief.

“You’re lucky I like you,” teased Barry.

Dean laughed. “You like everyone, Sunshine.”

“Not enough to get reamed by Angela for an hour,” He pointed out.

Dean laughed again, but he still didn’t look up.

“Please go to sleep, Winchester. You look half-dead,” Barry said.

“I feel half-dead,” Dean admitted.

“I’ll call you about the extended deadline later.”

“Okay. Bye Barry. Thanks again.” Dean said, finally looking up at the screen.

Barry waved as he ended the call.

Dean didn’t even bother to turn off his computer after he saved his work, just stumbled to his room and fell onto his bed. He tossed and turned for half an hour, Bucky and Poe eventually joining him just as he finally drifted off to sleep.

He woke up twelve hours later to the sound of the doorbell ringing.

_Shit._

He’d forgotten his phone in the study and it was supposed to wake him up at 11 so he could get cleaned up for the man who was coming to interview to be his roommate. He’d put out an ad in the paper a week ago and had gotten several interested parties, but most of them made him feel unsettled so he’d written almost all of them off.

He had two potential candidates not including the guy who was currently waiting on his porch, a perky blonde woman named Tara and a petite brunette chick named Shelby. He wasn’t a hundred percent sure about them, but they seemed normal enough.

Dean rushed downstairs, fumbling with the door handle and opening the door too wide to reveal an attractive, dark haired man dressed in blue scrubs that almost matched his eyes. Dean’s breath hitched as he saw the stranger’s eyes briefly flick to his chest.

_Holy shit. He’s gorgeous._

“Hello,” the stranger greeted, voice like gravel, eyes flicking back up to look into Dean’s.

“Uh, H-Hi,” Dean said, dumbly, losing himself in the blue eyes staring back at him.

FOCUS WINCHESTER!

Dean cleared his throat. “I’m Dean.”

“Castiel,” he said, offering his hand to Dean.

Dean shook his hand, then stepped out of the doorway. “Come in and we’ll get started.”

“You don’t want to put a shirt on first?”

Dean looked down at his bare chest.

_Damn! I forgot I took off my shirt before I fell asleep._

“Sorry! My alarm didn’t go off and I overslept,” Dean admitted, feeling his face warm.

_Great first impression so far, Winchester. First you open the door like a madman, struggle to get out a simple hello and now you’re not even wearing a shirt._

Castiel smiled at him. “I’m not complaining, but I thought you’d be more comfortable if you weren’t half naked.

_Did he just admit he likes the view?_

Dean grinned at him. “Haven’t even moved in yet and you’re already worried about my well-being.”

Castiel chuckled. “Isn’t that what roommates are for?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Dean said, still smiling. “You can wait in the living room, it’s to your right and I’ll be down in a minute. Make yourself comfortable.”

 Castiel nodded, making his way into the living room while Dean ran up the stairs. He only stopped running when he reached his closet.

_What do I wear? Do I wear something nice or something casual?_

_This isn’t a date! Just wear something casual!_

Dean grabbed his Dr. Pepper shirt he’d had for about decade and his nicest pair of jeans then went over to his dresser to grab clean boxers.

After dressing he made quick stop to his study to grab his phone that had way too many notifications.

_They’ll probably send a search party if I don’t answer soon._

Still, he ignored his phone because he didn’t have time to answer them.

He went downstairs and curved off into the living room where he saw Castiel playing with Poe on the couch while Bucky watched from the floor.

“I see you’ve met the boys,” Dean said.

Castiel looked up with a polite smile. “They are quite friendly, but they haven’t told me their names.”

Dean chuckled. ”The one you’re playing with is Poe, “he said, walking towards them, “And this is Bucky,” he added as he jabbed the black cat with his foot.

Bucky twisted around to swipe at his foot.

“Poe and Bucky,” Castiel repeated. “Those are odd names.”

“Dude, have you not seen Star Wars or any of the Captain America movies?” Dean asked, on the verge of being offended.

“I don’t really watch movies a lot.”

Dean shook his head. “If you get the room that’s gonna change.”

Castiel looked at him with a strange glint in his eyes. “Somehow I don’t think that’ll be too easy to change.”

“Why not?” Dean asked curiously.

“My schedule can be quite hectic. I am an OB/GYN at Snyder and Associates,” Castiel explained.

“So you deliver babies? That’s awesome!”

“Yes, it is awesome,” Castiel agreed, looking amused by Dean’s reaction. “But it can be quite exhausting.”

“I bet,” Dean said. “When my sister in law, Jo, had my nephew Noah she was in labor for 12 hours and when my other sister in law, Jess, had the Twins it took 14 hours.”

“Who were their OB/GYN’s?” Castiel asked curiously.

Dean thought for a moment. “Y’know, I think Jess had a midwife, and Jo had…Dr. Burns? Yeah! Ezekiel Burns! I remember because I slept with-“

HE DOESN’T WANT TO KNOW THAT!

Dean cleared his throat, looking down at Bucky. “Sorry TMI.”

“Its fine, Dean,” Castiel assured. “I actually work with Dr. Burns and I am aware of the effect he can have on people.”

Dean looked up as he blurted. “Does he have that effect on you?”

_Why do you care? It’s not like he could be interested in you anyway._

Castiel studied him for a moment, a twinkle in his eyes. “I don’t sleep with my competition,” he finally answered.

_But does that mean you would if he wasn’t?_

Dean decided not to let the question slip out. “Smart.”

_His sexuality doesn’t matter._

_Doesn’t it though?_

_Shut up!_

Castiel nodded in agreement. “Though if circumstances were different I might consider it. He is a very attractive man.”

A flicker of hope rose in Dean’s chest.

_Why are you so happy? Doesn’t mean he’d give you a second look. Not with your ugly scars and pudgy middle._

_Can it, me!_

Dean decided he should join the other man on the couch, deciding to sit on the opposite end from him.

“Wait, if you work at Snyder and Associates, why do you even need a roommate?” Dean asked.

_Are you trying to get him to move in or not? Idiot!_

Castiel looked down at Poe who had walked onto his lap, then back up at Dean “I decided it didn’t make sense to rent an expensive apartment if I was hardly there.”

_If he’s hardly there how often will he be here?_

As if reading his mind, Castiel said, “Though as this place is closer than my apartment I’ll probably feel more motivated to walk home after a delivery.”

“Snyder and Associates is three miles from here. Don’t you have a car?”

Castiel shook his head. “No. I prefer walking.”

“You’re not a health nut, are you?” Dean asked.

“I do enjoy healthy eating, but I mostly eat junk food because it’s easier to get in between deliveries and office hours.”

_Phew._

“Good. My brother tries to get me to eat his rabbit food all the damn time and I don’t need a roommate doing the same thing,” Dean said.

Castiel laughed. “I’m not the type to pressure people into things, but I might cook something healthy every now and then.”

“Are you a good cook or a _‘my friends say I’m good, but then spit their food into their napkin when I’m not looking’_ cook?”

Castiel’s lips twitched into a genuine smile and Dean’s eyes landed on them involuntarily.  “How would I know if I’m the second?”

_Don’t stare at his mouth…or his pretty pink…FOCUS!_

Dean looked back up to his eyes, wanting to squirm under the knowing glint in them. “Good point. I’ve been told I could moonlight as a chef if I wanted.”

“Really?” Castiel asked, raising an eyebrow.

Dean nodded. “Yup. Too bad my real job keeps me busy.”

“What do you do, Dean?” Castiel asked.

“I’m a writer,” Dean answered, a bit shyly.

“Oh? Have you written anything I might have heard of?” Castiel tilted his head curiously as he asked.

“Have you heard of the _Supernatural_ series?”

Castiel shook his head.

“What about _the Judge?”_

Again, he shook his head.

“ _Anathema? Drown? To Be Human? The Joseph Dark series?_ ”

“Sorry, it seems I haven’t gotten the chance to read them,” Castiel apologized.

“Eh, it’s fine,” Dean said. “I’ve written a small library of books by now but it’s still no surprise when someone hasn’t ready any of them.”

“How many books have you written?”

“Too many,” Dean answered with a shrug.

“Do you have a favorite book you’ve ever written?”

“ _Fall Away,_ but I don’t think it’ll stay my favorite,” Dean told him. He pointed a finger to his head as he said, “I have too many ideas bouncing around in here and someday I might publish something greater than I ever imagined.”

“Maybe I should read something of yours before I move in to get a sense of who you are,” Castiel said.

Dean grinned. “Hey, you haven’t got the place yet.”

_Who are you kidding buddy?_

Castiel’s lips twitched. “Still, I would like to read one of your books.”

“Tell you what,” Dean started, “if you answer the rest of my questions, I’ll give you a copy of Fall Away?”

“Deal.”

Dean went through the motions of interviewing Castiel, but he knew this was the guy he’d be living with for a while at least.

_Sorry ladies, but I can’t resist a gorgeous man._

Dean’s phone rang just as he was about to tell Castiel he’d let him know in a few days.

“Excuse me,” Dean said, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“DEAN WINCHESTER WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT ANSWERING YOUR DAMN PHONE?!” Jo yelled.

Dean flinched, holding the phone away from his ear.

“I’ll be right back,” he said to Castiel as he stood up.

Castiel nodded.

Dean moved the phone back to his ear as he left the room. “Sorry, Jo, I completely knocked out.”

Jo softened a bit at that. “You don’t have to push yourself so hard, you know?”

Dean snorted. “The hell I don’t. I had to extend my deadline because I didn’t work hard enough.”

Jo started on the normal spiel about him being a billionaire and not needing to work as much, but he didn’t take any of her words to heart. It was true he was rich, but that wasn’t why he’d started writing.

“Jo, I have to piss really bad, so can you just hurry up?”

He was lying of course, but he wanted an excuse to hang up without mentioning Castiel. He hadn’t told anyone about getting a roommate yet because they might think it’s weird since he’s thirty six and doesn’t financially need one.

“Gross,” she muttered. “I’ll tell mom not to send out the cavalry if you promise to swing by the roadhouse in an hour.”                                                                                                                          

“Fine. Bye Jo,” he said, hanging up without waiting for her to speak again.

Dean slid his phone in his pocket and ran upstairs to get _Fall Away_ from his study.

He breathed nervously as he made his way downstairs.

_What if he hates it?_

_What if he hates me because of it?_

Dean rejoined Castiel in the living room with a nervous smile.

“Well, Castiel, I think we’re done with the interview,” Dean said. “I should get back to you in a day or two about the room.”

_It’s gonna be a day. Probably less._

Castiel stood up, smiling. “I hope my competition isn’t too tough.”

Dean laughed. “If it makes you feel better about your chances, I didn’t give any of them one of my books.”

Castiel chuckled. “There must be something special about me then.”

“Must be,” Dean agreed, his eyes locking on Castiel’s.

They stared at each other just a little too long, only interrupted by Bucky climbing Dean’s leg. The cats had dispersed a few minutes into him interviewing Castiel, but now Bucky came to remind him he hadn’t fed them since the afternoon the day before.

“I should get going,” Castiel said, suddenly. “I have to get back to the office.”

“You’re not walking are you?” Dean asked as they headed to the front door.

“Like I said. I don’t have a car and I sadly can't fly.”

Dean chuckled at that last part.“Let me give you a ride.”

“You don’t have to,” Castiel insisted. “I like walking.”

Dean didn’t want to push him, but he also wanted an excuse to stay with him a little longer. “It’s no problem, really. I have to go meet Jo anyway.”

Castiel considered his offer a moment, before finally nodding. “In that case, I would really appreciate it.”

 Dean smiled. “Okay, just give me a minute to get ready.”

“I’ll just wait here then,” Dean heard Castiel say as he turned around.

Dean ran upstairs quickly slipping on a two non-matching socks that he’d grabbed from his dresser, then pulling on and lacing his boots.

 _Better run a comb through this mess,_ he thought as he ran his fingers through his hair.

He went to his adjoining bathroom and cringed at the unkempt state of his almost too long hair.

_I should probably ask Ellen to give me a trim while I’m there._

After combing his hair, he grabbed his keys and his wallet off the top of his dresser then went backstairs to find Castiel exactly where he left him.

“Ready?” Dean asked.

Castiel nodded, then turned to walk out the door.

**_Meow._ **

_I forgot to feed the boys!_

Dean tamped down the guilt as he followed Castiel out the door, locking it behind him.

_I’ll feed them when I get back!_

“You have a very nice car,” Castiel commented as he walked around to the passenger’s seat.

Dean practically beamed. “She is a beauty,” he agreed.

His ’67 Chevy Impala had been left to his brother after their father passed, but Sam had handed over the keys to Dean without hesitation eight years ago, claiming it wasn’t a practical family car though Dean suspected it was really because Sam knew how much the car had meant to Dean.

Dean reached into the glove compartment to find a tape to listen to, grabbing the first one he found and shoving it in without looking at it.

“You still use cassettes?” Castiel asked, eyebrow raised in his surprise.

Dean shrugged. “In my baby, yeah, otherwise I use my iPod,” he said as he backed out of his driveway.

The sounds of Zeppelin playing through the speakers filled the silence as Dean drove.

He didn’t mind that they weren’t talking.  He was aware that being with a new person often meant that there would be lulls in conversations that couldn’t be helped.

Castiel ended up breaking the lull. “How many siblings do you have, Dean? I’m only curious because you mentioned your sister-in-law’s earlier.”

He glanced over at Castiel, who he felt looking at him, then back to the road. “I have two blood brothers, Sam and Adam, then I have a foster brother, named Benny.”

“You grew up in foster care?” Castiel asked.

“In and out from the time I was eight until the day I turned eighteen,” Dean said. “Dad kind of lost himself after mom died. He sold the house and we moved around a lot. Sometimes he’d rent us a room somewhere and not come back until we’d already been found out by CPS.”

Dean scratched at his nose. “He always came back for us though. Well, for Sammy and Adam at least. He gave up on me when I was sixteen and he caught me with a boy.”

_Could you sound anymore pathetic? Gonna tell him what happened with Alistair while you’re at it, Cry Baby?_

Images flashed in his mind of the sadistic man, crooked smiles that promised dark intentions.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Castiel apologized, looking at him worriedly. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

Dean realized he had started gripping the steering too tightly, his knuckles turning a deadly shade of white.

_Dammit!_

He loosened his grip, ignoring the pain.

“It’s not your fault,” Dean said with a shrug, pretending he hadn’t rattled himself. “And I’m the one who overshared, so don’t sweat it.”

Castiel still looked worried, but didn’t seem to know what to say.

Dean did. “How about you, Cas? You got any siblings?”

_Did you seriously just give him a nickname?_

Castiel didn’t seem to mind his slip though.

“I have six, Gabriel, Michael, Luc, Anna, Samandriel, and Raphael,” Castiel answered.

“Geez. I’m glad I didn’t have to sit at that dinner table.” Dean joked.

Castiel laughed. “It was a fight, but I was scrappy enough to get a good amount of food for both me and Alfie.”

“Alife?”

“Samandriel. He prefers to be called Alfie for some reason,” Castiel explained. “In retrospect, I’m not sure why we always fought to get food. We grew up with plenty of money so there wasn’t really a reason to be so hostile over meals.”

“Kids like to compete,” Dean said as he pulled up to Snyder and Associates.

“I suppose that’s true.”

Castiel reached for the door handle. “Thank you for the ride, Dean. I hope to hear from you soon,” he said as he opened the door.

“No problem, man. Have a good day!”

Castiel smiled at him before getting out and shutting the door behind him.

Dean hovered until Castiel was inside the tall building, then made his way to the Roadhouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter! 
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


	4. The New Roommate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any mistakes are mine! I rarely edit my fics! Sorry, I'm just really impatient!

Dean stared at his phone nervously from where it sat on his counter.

_Should I call him? Is it too soon? Maybe I should wait._

_It’s been two days! He’s waiting to hear from you! Just call already!_

Dean grabbed his phone, almost jumping out of his skin when it started ringing.

_Dammit Adam!_

Dean answered his phone with a gruff, ”Hello?”

“Hey, Dean, can you pick up Noah at 3 and take him to Jo?”

“Sure, but why can’t you do it?”

“I have to put down Old Doc today,” Adam said.

Old Doc was the twelve year old Golden Retriever of Dean’s surrogate father, Bobby Singer. The older man had bought the dog shortly after he married Jo’s mother, Ellen Harvelle, the no-shit taking owner of the Roadhouse and the sweet natured dog had easily won all of their hearts. Unfortunately, his age had caught up to him and he’d been noticeably slower and unenthusiastic about life in general the past year so it was no wonder they thought it was time to put him out of his misery.

“Damn, I’m gonna miss him,” Dean said.

“Me too.”

“Bobby doing okay?”

“Yeah, he’s acting all gruff, but I know how much Doc meant to him,” Adam answered.

Dean heard someone yell, “DR. WINCHESTER!”

“Looks like something’s happening,” Adam said,”I’ll see you later, Dean.”

Dean barely got his goodbye out before Adam hung up and Dean was face with his dilemma again.

_Just call him before he finds another place!_

Dean finally gathered to courage to call, his heart racing as he waited for the other man to pick up.

Just as he thought it was about to switch to voicemail he was greeted by a husky, “Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas, I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time,” Dean said.

“Not at all, you actually just woke me up from a nap I wasn’t supposed to be taking,” Castiel replied, yawning after he got the sentence out.

Dean laughed. “Rough night?”

“Not any rougher than usual,” Castiel assured. “I assume you’re calling about the room. Good new I hope.”

“Well, if you call living with me _Good News,_ then yeah,” Dean said.

_Exposing him to your self-deprecation early, huh?_

“I do,” Castiel said simply. “Is Thursday too soon to move in?”

“Ah, no, Thursday’s fine,” Dean said. “Just text me when you get here so I can let you in.”

“Okay. I have to get back to work, but I’ll see you tomorrow, Dean.”

Dean smiled. He liked how the other man said his name. “See ya tomorrow, Cas.”

* * *

 

Dean stood outside the Impala, waiting for Noah to appear in the sea of kids walking out of the front doors of the elementary school.

“Dean?”

Dean turned towards the voice and saw Benjamin Braeden staring at him.

His heart skipped a beat and his mouth ran dry.

_No. Not him._

“Hey, Ben,”he said, managing to sound calmer than he felt. “What are you doing here?”

Ben was still staring at him, not even offering a polite smile. “I’m here to pick up Erica.”

_She goes to school here?_

“You guys moved back?” Dean asked.

Ben looked down at the ground. “Yeah, about a month ago.”

_A month?_

“Uncle Dean!” Noah shouted.

Dean’s attention snapped to his Nephew just before he tackled him with a hug. He forced a smile at him as he hugged him back.

“Hey, kiddo,” he greeted.

Noah pulled away from him. “Where’s Dad?”

“He had something to take care of at work, so I came to take you to your mom,” Dean explained

“Can’t I stay with you for a while?” Noah asked, using his best puppy dog eyes.

Dean hesitated to answer.

He had a few things he needed to take care of and he wasn’t really digging the idea of company.

But how could he say no to a face like that?

“I’ll have to ask your mom, but sure kiddo,” he finally answered.

“Yes!” Noah exclaimed.

Dean turned around to open the door for his Nephew, glancing to his right to see Ben was staring at him.

“What?” Dean asked.

“Nothing,” Ben said, looking away. “See you around, Dean.”

Dean shoved down the hurt that rose up from the obvious dismissal and went to get in his car.

“Who’s that?” Noah asked when Dean had settled in the driver’s seat.

“Just someone I used to know,” Dean answered. “How was school?”

Noah lit up, and chatted excitedly about his day, while Dean shot a text to Jo, then he started up the Impala and drove away, resisting the urge to look back to see if he could catch a glimpse of blond hair.

_None of them want to see you, so just stay away, Winchester._

 Noah must’ve noticed he wasn’t paying attention because he suddenly went quiet for a moment.

“Uncle Dean, are you okay?” He asked, sounding pretty somber for a child.

Dean looked over at his nephew and took in the serious look in his eyes as he stared back at Dean.

_It feels like he’s studying me._

“I’m fine, bud,” he lied, hoping Noah would drop it.

“Dad says you’re sad,” Noah said.

“Does he?” Dean asked.

Noah nodded. “He says he’s worried about you. They all do.”

_Great. So everyone talks about me when I’m not around._

“Well, no one needs to worry about me. I’m fine.” Dean said, flashing a reassuring grin at him.

Noah didn’t seem to buy it though. “It’s okay if you’re not. I love you no matter what.”

Tears pricked Dean’s eyes.

_Well, damn, a nine year old can see right through me._

“Thanks, bud. I love you no matter what too,” Dean said, ignoring the lump forming in his throat.

Noah smiled and finally looked away from Dean. “Good, because you’re my favorite Uncle. Don’t tell Uncle Sam. He’ll get jealous.”

Dean chuckled, wiping his watery eyes on his arm.

_This kid’s gonna make me cry._

Dean’s phone buzzed and he told Noah to check it for him.

“Mom says I have to be home by six,” Noah informed him, getting ready to type a reply.

Dean told him to text her okay, then said they had to run a few errands, and go grocery shopping. Noah didn’t seem to mind that they weren’t going to do anything fun and it made something warm settle in chest.

“Do you want to know what Casey did today?”  Noah asked after a few minutes had passed in silence.

“What’d he do?”

Dean busted out laughing as the little boy told him a story about how his classmate Casey saw a spider at recess and ran right into a pole trying to get away.

_I’m going to hell for laughing at that._

Noah started telling Dean pretty much every funny story he had as they drove from place to place and Dean completely forgot about seeing Ben.

* * *

After Dean paid all his bills and picked up some cleaning supplies, he decided to take Noah to get an ice cream before they went grocery shopping. His Nephew was a bit hesitant, saying he shouldn’t eat ice cream before he had his dinner.

“It’s okay as long as you don’t eat anymore after dinner,” Dean said.

Noah considered his words for a moment before he finally nodded.

Dean led him inside, telling him he could get whatever he wanted. Noah rushed over to the glass to look at all the different flavors _Ambrosia_ had to offer while Dean shot a text to Jo.

| _Can you have your special waiting for me when I drop off Noah?_ |

He walked over to Noah, phone still in hand. “Did you pick a flavor yet?”

“Chocolate chip cookie dough,” Noah answered, pointing to it.

“Do you want a cone or container?”

“Cone.”

Dean went to the counter and ordered two waffle cones of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Noah grabbed his hand as they walked to sit at a small table for two near the wall, making Dean smile.

He was surprised to see his smile reflected back at him.

“Why are you smiling so big?’ Dean asked curiously.

“Because I like seeing you smile,” Noah answered. “You always look so serious.”

He hadn’t expected that.

_Do I always look serious? Do the Twins notice too?_

“Oh yeah?”

Noah nodded. “You always look like this,” he said, making his expression as serious as his little face could muster.

The expression looked completely wrong on the nine year old and it made Dean laugh.

Noah giggled, breaking into a toothy grin.

“Is that really how I look?” Dean prodded.

Noah nodded.

Dean figured he probably did look like that most of the time. He was always in between deadlines and stressed out most of the time, even when he could usually take some time off because he knew about all the work he had waiting for him.

_But how little do I actually smile in front of him?_

Dean knew he smiled and he definitely didn’t think of it as something he rarely did.

_Smile more so the kids don’t get suspicious._

Dean saw the employee who’d taken their order waiting by the counter and went to get their ice cream, now thinking it was the best idea he’d had all day. His phone buzzed on the table after he handed Noah his cone.

| _Sure, but why don’t you eat here tonight?_ |

Dean was tempted to spend a little more time with Noah, but he had other things he wanted to do.

| _Planned to clean up the house and take another crack at those short stories. ._ |

He hoped she didn’t push.

Dean laughed at Noah who had ice cream all around his mouth and on the tip of his nose.

“Go get a napkin, kiddo,” Dean said.

Noah handed him his ice cream before getting up and running over to get a handful of napkins for them.

His phone buzzed again.

| _Fine, but you’re eating with us Sunday!_ |

_He waited for Noah to wipe off his face, then handed him back his ice cream before he texted back._

| _Okay._ |

She responded immediately.

| _And you better not get my son all hopped on sugar or I’ll skin you!_ |

Dean chuckled.

| _I would never_.|

“Who are you texting? Is it your girlfriend?” Noah asked.

Dean laughed. “Nope.”

“Your boyfriend?”

“No, it’s just your mom,” Dean answered.

“Oh,” he said.

_What’s with that tone?_

“Why do you sound so disappointed?” Dean asked curiously.

Noah licked at his ice cream instead of answering, so Dean just let it drop as he got another text from Jo.

| _You took him to get ice cream, didn’t you? Damn you_!|

He decided not to answer and just enjoy his time with his nephew.

“How’s Rory doing?” Dean prompted.

Noah’s eyes lit up at the mention of his best friend and he immediately started telling Dean all the fun he’d had at his birthday party the weekend before.

* * *

 

Dean walked into his house for the second time in the last thirty minutes and went to eat in his living room. Getting groceries with Noah had been pretty fun. The kid had asked about what Dean was going to make with this or that and why he was so opposed to most of the healthy food. It was nice to have someone who could slip in between people to get to what he wanted and it certainly made things go faster.

When Dean had walked Noah inside the Roadhouse the little boy had hugged him tight and said,”Bye Uncle, Dean. I’ll miss you,” before he’d run off to the back where he usually waited while his mom worked.

He’d barely been able to get out that he’d miss him too before Noah was out of hearing range and Lucas called him over to give him his food.

It made him feel guilty that he didn’t spend a lot of time with his Nephew or family in general, but that was kind of how Dean liked it. He was a miserable sack trapped in his own head and he didn’t think he was particularly fun to hang around unless he forced himself to act like he was okay and boy did that take a lot of work.

Poe appeared next to him, sniffing at his plate.

“You already ate,” Dean mumbled, moving his food away from him.

**_Meow._ **

“Not gonna happen buddy.”

Poe stared at him for a minute, then jumped onto the back of the couch to take a nap.

“Good boy.”

Dean settled into the couch and found a random movie on Netflix. He wasn’t going to work on the short stories until after midnight, knowing full well he wasn’t ready to deal with that stress yet.

His phone buzzed in his jeans pocket.

He pulled it out and saw Adam had texted him.

| _Thanks again for getting Noah earlier. He said he really liked spending time with you today_.|

Dean smiled.

| _No problem. I liked spending time with him too_.|

Dean expected that to be the end of the conversation but his phone buzzed again almost immediately.

| _He also said you saw someone you used to know. Was it Lisa?_ |

Dean’s felt his chest constrict.

_Has he known they moved back this entire time?_

| _Ben. You knew they were back?_ |

Dean kept his phone in his hand as he waited for a response.

| _Yeah. I would’ve told you, but Lisa begged me not to and honestly, I didn’t think it was a good idea to tell you they were back._ |

Dean couldn’t really argue with that. He’d wanted to turn tail and run as soon as he saw Ben.

| _Can’t say I blame you. Do you know why they came back?_ |

Adam answered immediately.

| _Yeah_.|

_Does he think I’m just gonna let it go?_

| _Adam._ |

Another quick response.

| _You’re not gonna like it._ |

Dean rolled his eyes.

| _Just tell me. I can take it._ |

He thought his brother might not answer at first, but then his phone buzzed.

| _Lisa’s engaged._ |

A surge of emotions rushed through Dean and he didn’t know which one to latch onto.

_Engaged?_

| _To who?_ |

He wasn’t sure he really wanted to know because he had a vague idea of who it was, but his curiosity demanded he knew.

| _Jason_.|

Jason was Lisa’s childhood best friend so Dean wasn’t really surprised. Those two knew each other better than anyone else and had always been on the will they/wont they spectrum. Well, not when Dean was around, but of course it appeared again after he was out of the picture. Really. He wasn’t surprised.

But that didn’t stop it from stinging a bit.

| _Are you okay, Dean?_ |

_I don’t know._

| _I’m fine. I’ll see you Sunday_.|

Adam texted him back lightning fast.

| _Liar.|_

Then,

| _I love you._ |

Dean stared at the three words for a moment, ignoring that his brother knew he was full of shit. His family seemed to take every chance to tell him they loved him, especially over the last few months.

| _I love you too_.|

Dean set his phone on the coffee table and turned to Poe, petting the fluffy cat. “Do I never smile?” He mumbled.

Poe nuzzled into his hand.

“I know everyone knows I’m not doing okay, but do they think I might do something? Is that why they always tell me they love me?”

Dean suspected he was probably right. It wasn’t like they never exchanged _I love yous_ before he withdrew into himself, but now he heard it or read on a screen almost every time he talked to his family and friends.

"Nah, surely they would confront me if they thought I would," Dean decided. "They're just sappy romantics with too much love to give. That's all."

Bucky finally made an appearance, jumping on Dean’s lap.

“Hey, bud, where you been hiding?” He mused.

Bucky kneaded his thigh, purring softly as Dean pet him.

Dean just stayed there for a while, switching his affections between cats, barely registering the audio of the movie playing in the background. It wasn’t until the movie ended that he finally decided it was time for him to get to work.

* * *

 

Dean heard a ruckus outside his door Thursday morning as he walked downstairs to let Castiel in.

“Clarence, you didn’t even _look_ at the room first?”

“I saw pictures,” he heard Castiel say as he opened the front door.

The other man saw Castiel and some woman standing on his porch with boxes in their arms.

The woman looked ready to dig into Cas, but he turned to Dean with a polite smile to avoid it.

“Hello, Dean,” he greeted.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean said, managing a tired smile.

He moved out of the doorway so they could both step inside with their boxes of Castiel’s stuff.

“Meg this is Dean, Dean this is Meg,” Castiel introduced.

Meg raked her eyes up and down Dean’s body, blatantly checking out everything he had to offer.

“Hey it’s nice to meet you,” Dean said, forcing another smile onto his face.

Her eyes snapped up to meet his, and a flirty smile spread across her face. “It’s nice to meet you too, Handsome.”

_I don’t have the energy for this._

Dean looked over at Cas. “Need me to carry anything?”

“You don’t have-“

“There’s a few boxes in the backseat,” Meg cut in.                                                                                                         

Dean nodded and walked out the door before Castiel could insist he didn’t need to help. He went over to the open door of the large black truck in his driveway and grabbed a big box labeled Gabriel.

_Why does he have a box with his brother’s name on it?_

Dean decided to ask when he got a chance. He hurried back into the house and up the stairs to Cas’ room which was directly across from his own.

“You can just set that anywhere,” Castiel said.

Dean chose a random spot near the wall. “Why is this box labeled _Gabriel?”_

Castiel walked over to the box, with a smile on his face and opened it. “My brother has given me an assortment of gifts over the years and no matter how ridiculous or inappropriate, I can’t find it in me to get rid of them.”

Castiel pulled out a small, bright pink elephant and a purple double ended dildo to emphasize his words.

“Oh my god!” Dean couldn’t stifle his laughter if he tried.

Castiel’s smile widened. “My brother has an odd sense of humor.”

Castiel continued to show Dean the contents of the box, pulling out ugly Christmas sweaters, a vibrator, a stuffed husky, a shirt that said _I Like My Men Like I Like My Women_ , two Hello Kitty Hoodies, a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, a half empty bottle of honey lube and a box of condoms.

Dean looked at the back of the condom box to look at what he could expect from it. There were only three types of novelty condom wrappers, one said Save A Lollipop Suck a Dick with a rainbow colored sucker replacing the ‘ _o’_ in pop, another said Orgasm Donor in bright red letters that formed a circle around a cross and the third one was a storm trooper with the words I Will Not Be Your Father on it.

Dean bust out laughing, startling Castiel.

“What’s so funny?” Meg asked, coming in with two boxes.

“Dean finds the condoms Gabriel purchased for me hilarious,” Castiel told her.

Meg laughed. “Well, that’s great, chuckles, but we have to get the bed up here before it starts raining.”

Dean let out a few choked giggles as he made himself stop laughing abruptly and led the other two outside.

 

* * *

 

 Meg left as soon as they got all of Castiel’s stuff out of her truck, saying she had to get to work. Which meant it was up to Cas to get everything sorted. Dean had offered to help, but Castiel insisted he could do it by himself so Dean had gone to his study to write.

Dean sometimes hated all the ideas floating in his head because it meant he had way too many half started books saved on his desktop and even more saved on his laptop. Today, he decided he’d spend some time working on a book about a young werewolf girl trying to adjust to her newfound powers.

The words came out slowly at first as he thought of where he wanted the last scene he’d started to end, but then three hours later he couldn’t stop the words from flowing.

_There’s a good chance I could actually finish this by the time the deadline for the short stories comes up._

Unfortunately, after another hour he hit a brick wall, crying out in frustration. He could’ve sworn he felt the inspiration physically leave his body as he struggled to get through the scene where the protagonist, Rosario, realized she was in love with her best friend Maria and that’s why her love interest Arturo didn’t appeal to her like she thought he would.

_Why is this so hard? People realize they’re in love with their best friend all the time._

_Just like Lisa and Jason,_ his mind supplied unhelpfully.

Dean felt a lump in his throat.

_Walked right into that, huh?_

He buried his face in his hands with a groan.

_At least that wasn’t the reason we didn’t work._

_Does that really make it better though?_

Dean quickly saved his work, knowing he need to quit while he was ahead, then went downstairs to watch Chopped.

Castiel joined him about an hour later, hair looking much more unkempt than before.

“It seems I fell asleep after I finished unpacking,” Castiel said as he sat on the couch next to him.

“Well, other than Poe sneezing so hard he fell off the couch, you didn’t miss anything exciting.”

Castiel chuckled.

They watched a few episodes of Chopped, making little comments here and there about who they wanted to win, then they decided that the show had made them unbearably hungry.

“What do you feel like eating?” Dean asked.

Castiel shrugged. “I’ll eat anything right now.”’

Dean stood up, stretching. “Go, fix your bedhead and meet me in the car.”

Castiel tilted his head in confusion as he reached to touch his hair.

_Adorable._

* * *

 

 Dean led Castiel over to his favorite booth in the Roadhouse, ignoring Jo’s questioning look. He had stopped coming to the Roadhouse without prompting awhile back, and it’d been even longer since he brought someone new with him, so he understood her confusion at seeing him.

Jo appeared just as they slid into opposite sides of the booth.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” Jo said instead of a greeting. “Did mom tell you to stop by?”

“What? No, I just wanted something to eat.”

Jo looked at him for a moment, then a pleased smile spread across her face. Her attention turned to Castiel, eyes lighting with curiosity.  “Who’s your friend here?” 

“I’m Castiel Novak”

Jo shook the hand he offered. “I’m Jo Winchester.” She jerked her head at Dean. “How do you know this hermit?”

Dean rolled his eyes at her.

“I’m his new roommate.”

Dean saw the thousands of questions in his sister in law’s eyes, but he didn’t feel like answering them, so he said, “I’ll take a sweet tea, ya know, if you _are_ still a waitress.”

This time it was Jo who rolled her eyes. “Bite me, Dean.”

“I don’t think Adam would be too happy about that,” he said, winking.

Jo mock gagged. “Don’t be gross, Dean.”

He gave her a shit eating grin, surprised when he saw her face soften momentarily before she turned to Castiel. “What do _you_ want to drink?”

“I’ll have a sweet tea as well,” he answered politely.

She nodded, glancing at Dean one more time with that same soft expression before she walked off to get their drinks.

_What’s with her?_

Dean decided to ignore her odd behavior and talk to his new roommate, who was studying the menu Jo must have handed him.

“Know what you want?” Dean asked.

Castiel looked up at him briefly, then back at the menu. “I’ve never been here, so any recommendations are welcome.”

“How do you feel about burgers?”

“They’re my guilty pleasure,” Castiel said, with a small smile.

Dean grinned, taking Castiel’s menu so he could find his second favorite burger and he could read the description of it.  “Then I recommend Jo’s Special,” he said, turning the menu so the other man could see what he was pointing at.

Castiel read the description out loud,”Double meat, one slice of cheddar, one slice of mozzarella, Applewood smoked bacon, lettuce, tomato, mustard and pickles with a side of seasoned fries and mozzarella sticks.”

“Sound good?” Dean asked.

Castiel nodded. “I think this meal will contribute to a heart attack later in life but I will try it.”

Dean laughed.

“Oh, if you ever eat Dean’s Special, you’ll _definitely_ have a heart attack,” Jo said as she set their drinks down.

Dean found his special, then turned the menu to Castiel so he could see it.

“Triple meat, one slice of Colby-monterey jack, one slice of cheddar, one slice of mozzarella, Applewood smoked bacon, lettuce, mustard with a side of bacon cheese fries.” Castiel read.

He met Dean’s gaze as he spoke,”You better not have a heart attack. Finding a new place to live would be difficult.”

Jo laughed, as Dean looked at him in mock offense.

“Perhaps I _should_ try to force you to eat ‘rabbit food’ like your brother,” Castiel continued.

_Did he just make air quotes? That’s adorable._

“Keep talking like that and it won’t take me having a heart attack for you to be homeless,” Dean shot back.

Castiel chuckled.

Dean grinned, loving the soft sound coming from his new roommate.

“So,” Jo interrupted,” what will it be boys?”

“I’ll take your special,” Castiel ordered.

“Good choice,” Jo said, with an easy smile.

“I’ll take mine, but cut it into fourths please.”

“Coming right up.” Jo took off to the kitchen.

“She seems nice,” Castiel commented.

Dean smiled. “Yeah, she’s pretty great.”

“How long have you known her?”

“Most of my life and all of hers,” Dean answered. “She’s like my little sister. Some people even say she reminds them of me but I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Because Jo’s smarter, braver and just all around better than me,” Dean said, nonchalantly.

Castiel looked as if he was about to say something but a dramatic gasp drew both of their attention. “Dean Winchester saying nice things about Jo Harvelle? Did I stumble into a parallel universe?”

Dean rolled his eyes at the red haired woman standing next to their booth.

“Hey, Charlie,” Dean greeted.

“Its Winchester now,” Jo added as she walked up. “And what’s this about Dean saying nice things about me?”

“I wouldn’t get too excited, they came with a hint of self-deprecation,” Charlie told her.

Jo shook her head, turning to Dean and smacking his shoulder. “Don’t talk me up while talking down on yourself.”

“And you better not tolerate it ether, dreamy,” Charlie said to Castiel.

Castiel nodded despite his confused expression.

_Yeah, just make him uncomfortable, Charlie._

“Don’t you two have something better to do than bug us?” Dean asked sharply.

“Jeez, touchy,” Jo muttered, backing away slowly. “I’ll go check on your food.”

Dean looked at Charlie expectantly.

“I’ll leave after you introduce me to your friend here.”

Dean sighed. “Charlie this is Castiel, my new roommate. Castiel this is Charlie, the little sister I never wanted.”

Charlie ignored that last part. “Nice to meet you, Castiel. You look mildly familiar.”

“I’m an OB/GYN over at Snyder and Associates, you might have seen me around the office,” he offered.

Charlie snapped her fingers. “That’s it! You’re my wife, Dorothy’s gyno!”

“Dorothy Baum?”

Charlie nodded. “Yup! I’ve got Dr. L myself, but Dorothy jokes all the time that if she were straight-“

_“Charlie!”_

Dorothy had appeared while they were talking and was now looking at her wife in mortification, turning red in embarrassment.

“Right. So, I guess I’ll go get yelled at by my wife,” Charlie said. “You two enjoy your dinner.”

Charlie walked over to the bar, Dorothy waving at Castiel shyly as she followed her.

“I’ve never seen Dorothy be shy before,” Dean said, a bit amazed. “I mean, I’ve seen her blush and get embarrassed, but she’s never acted _shy_.”

“She was extremely shy around me when I first became her Doctor, but she’s isn’t anymore,”Castiel said. “Well, at least until her wife decided to indicate she was aesthetically attracted to me to her apparent mortification.”

Dean laughed. “Yeah, Charlie has a long streak of embarrassing her, but Dorothy loves her anyway.”

Castiel smiled, glancing over at the two women.

Dorothy seemed to be quietly talking at Charlie, probably complaining about the red haired woman embarrassing her in front of her gynecologist.

Dean heard the door to the Roadhouse open and couldn’t help but mutter, ”Are you kidding me?”

He was vaguely aware of Castiel turning his attention back on Dean. “Is something wrong?”

Dean didn’t get a chance to answer as Benny walked over and pulled him into a hug. “Hey, Brother. Long time no see.”

“Yeah, uh, hi, how’ve you been?”

Benny pulled back, his eyes betraying a bit of sadness. “I’ve been great. Andrea and I are expecting again.”

“Oh, yeah? That’s awesome, man!” Dean said, shoving down the guilt of not knowing what was going on in his best friend’s life.

Benny smiled weakly and Dean matched it.

Things between them felt awkward for the first time ever and Dean didn’t know how to fix it.

_I’ve really fucked us up, huh?_

The sound of Castiel setting his glass on the table broke off their awkward smiling exchange.

“Got a new beau?” Benny asked after he took in the sight of Castiel.

“No, uh, he’s my new roommate,” Dean informed him. “Benny, Cas, Cas, Benny.”

_Is Cas just gonna meet everyone I know in one fell swoop?_

Dean felt tension spark up between the two as they shook hands.

_What the hell?_

Luckily, Jo came over with their food as Benny and Castiel started up some kind of staring match.

“Hey, Ben,” Jo greeted. “Ash has your food up at the counter.”

Benny turned to Dean. “I’ll see you around, brother.”

Dean nodded at him, again smiling at him weakly.

“Do you guys need anything else?” Jo asked, stepping closer and blocking Dean’s view of Benny as he walked away.

Dean shook his head, looking down at his food until Jo left.

“Are you alright, Dean?” Castiel asked.

Dean looked up into ice blue eyes and felt safe.

 “Mostly,” he answered. “Just wish things didn’t feel so awkward between me and Benny.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Dean shook his head. Despite the odd feeling of safety he felt when he looked into his roommate’s eyes, it still wasn’t enough to make him want to talk about it just yet.

Castiel didn’t pry after that, choosing to try out his burger,

Dean froze mid-bite when he heard Castiel’s downright _filthy_ moan that made Dean’s dick twitch in interest.

“Glad you like it.” Jo had appeared from seemingly nowhere to refill their mostly empty glasses. “Though, I think I should remind you this is a family place.”

Castiel blushed. “My apologies. I just wasn’t expecting it to taste so good.”

Jo laughed.

“Mommy!”

Jo had just enough time to turn and open her arms before Noah was tackling her. “Hey, sweetie. Did you have a good day?”

He nodded and in a blink of an eye he was on Dean’s lap, little arms wrapped around his neck in a hug.

“Uncle Dean!”

“Hey little man,” Dean greeted. “Did you miss me?”

Noah pulled away and smiled at him. “Yeah! I have so much to tell you!”

Dean ruffled his hair. “You’ll have to wait until after me and Cas eat, bud.”

Noah looked as if he was going to pout, but then his head whipped around to look at Castiel. He stared at the man he’d never met for a long moment, then turned back to Dean, eyes oddly bright. “Is he your boyfriend? Are you on a date?”

Dean ignored the burning in his cheeks as shook his head. “No, that’s just my new friend, Cas.”

This time Noah did pout as he said,”Oh.”

_Why does he keep doing that?_

“Why do you sound so disappointed bud?”  Adam asked, having walked over during their little exchange.

“I want Uncle Dean to be as happy as you and mommy are,” Noah admitted, looking down at Dean’s legs shyly.

The spike of sadness and shock that shot through Dean was briefly reflected on his brother’s face.

“Sweetie, why don’t you come with mommy?” Jo suggested, holding her hand out to her son.

Noah nodded. He kissed Dean’s cheek, then slid off his lap and took her hand.

“Sorry about that,” Adam apologized.

“It’s alright. I know he means well,” Dean said, shrugging it off.

After Dean introduced Adam to Castiel, they were finally left alone through the rest of dinner. They didn’t say much, too busy stuffing their face, but when they did talk it was usually just stories from their week. Or rather it was Cas talking about his deliveries and Dean talking about the antics his cats got into.

_I sound so boring._

Still, Castiel listened as if his lame cat stories were the most interesting thing in the world and Dean appreciated him for that.

“I’m gonna head to the bathroom, can you ask for a to-go box?” Dean asked, during one of their silences.

Castiel nodded, politely not talking with his mouth full like Dean had done several times.

* * *

 

When Dean was making his way back to his table, he got sidetracked by Noah who insisted he tell Dean all about his day. Not that Dean minded, but he was fast approaching his social limit for the day.

Luckily, Adam swopped in and told Noah he needed to finish his dinner so they could head home. He gave his Nephew one last hug before he turned to go back to Castiel.

Ellen was sitting in his seat, his leftovers already in a Styrofoam box in front of her and she seemed to be telling Castiel something that made him look both sad and serious.

He didn’t manage to catch any part of their conversation as Ellen had spotted him immediately. She slid out of her booth and hugged him tightly and for far too long as if she was afraid he’d embargo hugs soon. Ellen griped at him for a minute about not saying to hi to her the last few times he came by, then bombarded him with questions about what he’d been up to, carefully not bringing up him getting a roommate without mentioning it to anybody and finally leaving when things started picking up for the dinner rush.

“You ready to go?” Dean asked his companion.

Castiel nodded and as he slid out, Dean noticed something.

“Did…did you steal some of my fries?”

Castiel shook his head. “I would never do such a thing.”

Dean reached forward and wiped the string of melted cheese off Cas’ bottom lip with his thumb, presenting it in front of him as evidence of his betrayal.  “Oh really? Then what’s this?”

“How do you know that’s from your fries?” Cas countered.

“There’s bits of bacon in it,” Dean pointed out with a smirk.  

Castiel opened his mouth, then closed it again, knowing there was no point in arguing. “They were really good,” he admitted.

Dean laughed. “Come, on fry thief, let’s go home.”

Castiel seemed amused by the nickname and it made Dean feel oddly proud of the soft smile now gracing the other’s face as he followed Dean out.

_Things feel so easy with this guy._

“What’d you and Ellen talk about?” Dean asked once they were seated in the Impala.

“She just wanted to know a few things about me.” There was something about the way he said it that made Dean suspect he was withholding something, but decided to just let it go.

An idea popped into Dean’s head. “How do you feel about Cupcake Wars?”

Castiel turned to him curiously. “Is it a show where people throw cupcakes at each other?”

Dean stared at him for a full ten seconds before he started laughing.

* * *

 

Dean banged his forehead against his desk, mumbling incoherently to himself about how much his writing sucked. Just as Dean was on the verge of convincing himself he was the worst writer who ever existed, he heard a soft thud to his right.

He stopped trying to give himself a mild concussion and opened his eyes to see a glass of milk right next to his face. Dean sat up straight and saw Castiel standing next to his chair, holding a plate and smiling at him.

“Hey, Cas, what are you doing up?” Dean asked, voice rough.

“I have to go to work,” Castiel said, setting the plate next to the milk,”but I thought I’d bring you breakfast first.”

“Thanks, man.”Dean’s stomach rumbled loudly at the sight of an omelet and two hashbrowns, but he stopped himself from digging in.  “Wait, what time is it?”

“It’s almost eight.”

Dean looked at the clock on his computer and found he was right. “Oh my god. I could’ve sworn it was just 2AM.”

Castiel’s lips twitched, amused at his sense of time. “Does this happen to you a lot?”

Dean groaned, dropping his head back on the table in shame. “Sadly, yeah.”

Castiel chuckled.

“To make things worse, I’m not even done,” Dean muttered. “Writing is hard. Especially when you’re the worst writer in history. I mean, what am I even doing anymore? Bugs is godawful and how am I going to get Dean out of hell? What was I thinking? It’s ridiculous. I can’t believe someone like me gets their work publi-“

Dean felt a hand glide through his hair, but he didn’t have time to enjoy how nice it felt as Castiel softly gripped some of his hair and pulled his head up. “Don’t start that, Dean. I can tell you’re an amazing writer from what I’ve read of _Fall Away_. You’re being too hard on yourself.”

The soft, endearing way Castiel looked at him, made his heart skip a beat.

“I meant it when I agreed I wouldn’t let you talk bad about yourself,” he added.

 Dean blinked rapidly, trying to get rid of the tears he felt trying to form in his eyes.

_I’m too tired to manhandle my feelings down._

“Save your work, eat and please go to sleep,” Castiel said gently when Dean didn’t respond.

Dean nodded and Castiel let go of him.

“Do you want a ride to work?” Dean asked, voice sounding strained.

“My coworker Felix is picking me up,” Castiel informed him.

“Oh.” Dean sounded disappointed to his own ears.

_He’s been here less than a day! Don’t be so clingy!_

“Though I would appreciate a ride home,” Castiel added.

Dean smiled. “Yeah, sure. Just text me when you get off.”

Castiel nodded, then pointed to the computer,”Save, eat, sleep. Now,” he ordered before he left Dean to his own devices.

It took Dean a moment to stop staring after the gorgeous man before he finally did as told. Bucky and Poe joined him a few minutes after he settled into bed thinking that getting a roommate was the best decision he’d made in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been awhile, but this chapter was 1600K longer than I planned it to be. Also, those are real condom wrappers and I thought I was going to die laughing after I saw them.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Your comments add to my writing fuel!


	5. Chapter 5

Dean woke up to the sound of his phone ringing loudly on his bedside table. He reached for it blindly, groaning at the realization he needed to actually sit up if he hoped to answer it.

Bucky and Poe looked at him with mild annoyance for moving, but they didn’t leave, just waited for him to settle into his new position that had his back leaning against the headboard.

“Hello?” He ground out, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

“I heard you have a new roommate.”

Dean tensed.

_Shit._

“Uh, heya, Sammy,” Dean muttered. “Been talking to Jo, huh?”

“Is it true?”  Sam asked.

Dean sighed, resting his head on the hardwood behind him. “Yeah. His name’s Castiel.”

“Dean, why do you have a roommate? I know you don’t need the money.” Sam sounded worried, not angry and Dean took that as a good sign.

But he wasn’t going to tell the truth. Not when everyone seemed to be so worried about him.

“Well, I had a spare room and figured why not,” Dean lied easily.

“ _You_ , the _hermit_ , figured why not share a place with a complete stranger?” Sam asked skeptically.

“I’m not a hermit!” Dean protested uselessly.

“Yes, you are, you’ve barely left your house since Lisa-“Sam cut off abruptly, realizing he was headed into dangerous territory. “Look, I’m just saying it weird that at thirty-six, you’ve decided you need a roommate.”

Dean wasn’t in the mood for this. “Yeah, well it’s my life Sam. We can’t all knock up our high school sweetheart our second year of college and get to live happily ever after.”

“Dean I-“

But Dean hung up on his brother, tossing his phone to the end of the bed.

He groaned out in frustration, covering his face with his hands.

_That went well._

Bucky stretched over to his left, before sauntering over to stand in his lap, meowing at him.

Dean dropped one hand to pet his furry friend as he nuzzled against him.

He felt guilty for snapping at Sam, but he’d always been prone to getting defensive when people tried to bring up his life to him.

“I’ll Skype him later to apologize,” Dean informed Bucky who just stared back at him with his big eyes.

Dean figured since he was awake, he might as well do something.

* * *

 

After feeding his boys and taking a quick shower, he went to his study to try and get a little work done before he went to pick up Castiel. He threw himself into writing _Long Distance Call_ , the last of the short stories, choosing to skip _What Is And What Should Never Be_ since it was still proving to be too difficult to write a dream world for his character Dean.

 _Long Distance Call_ proved to have an easy flow that day and he actually managed to get it done.

Dean sat back in his chair, feeling relieved at only having one more story to do.

_Thank God. Maybe if I get these done before the deadline I can make it up to Barry._

His editor had managed to get him a month and a half extension, but not without having to give up his weekends to read all 2, 000 entries of the latest writing contest in his Boss’ stead. Barry had assured Dean that it was worth helping him, but Dean still felt really guilty about it.

Just as he opened the last chapter of _The Rising_ his phone chimed to alert him of a text.

| _My coworker needs my help with something, so I won’t need a ride home after all_.|

Dean felt a little disappointed that he couldn’t pick up Cas, but he shrugged it off.

| _Do you know when you’ll be home? Cos I was thinking of making us dinner_.|

Dean set his phone down and started reading over the last thing he wrote, cringing slightly at all the grammar errors and awkward wording, the usual mistakes in a first draft. This story followed the story of Jody Mills and her sidekick Donna Hanscum as they tried to fight through the early days of the zombie apocalypse and it was easily one of his best written works, he just needed to finish it and send it to Barry for tweaking.

His phone rang again just as Dean corrected the last of the most glaring grammar mistakes on the page.

| _Hopefully by seven. I look forward to your cooking, Dean_.|

Dean smiled at his phone for a moment, before he shoved it into his pocket.

He didn’t have too long before he needed to start cooking so he buckled down and tried to get as much written as he could, tying up loose ends and setting up for the next book in what he hoped to be a trilogy. Ultimately, he started to struggle on what he felt to be the last two pages and had to accept he would just have to finish them later.

Dean saved his work, shut off his computer, and then made his way downstairs to start dinner. He had about an hour and a half before Castiel would be home, so he needed to decide on something quick.

Dean decided to make chicken with a side of rice, having to yell at his boys to leave him alone until they finally settled on a couple of chairs around the kitchen table to watch him as he worked to get things cooking.

Once all he could do was wait, he decided to make a batch of bacon cheese fries. Dean had his own deep fryer, both to the delight and disdain of his younger brother who loved his onion rings but hated that Dean could deep fry anything he wanted at any time.

He was careful to pay extra attention to the chicken, not wanting it to become too dry as he busied himself with other things.

Cooking was important to Dean. It had been since he was fourteen and had made himself learn so he could feed his father, who had gotten custody again, and his brothers.  At the time, he’d even hoped that if he could prove to his father he was useful, John wouldn’t leave them again, but of course he had anyway.

The Winchester Boys had been separated several times in foster care, but the rare times when Dean was graced to have one of his siblings, he would always help with the cooking, even if it wasn’t one of the good homes because he just wanted to stay with his brother. It helped, but something usually always happened and they would get booted to different homes.

Dean managed to finish the fries and put them in a red basket he’d stolen from the Roadhouse long ago when Castiel came home, walking into the kitchen looking disheveled and unhappy.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked.

Castiel frowned, sitting at one of the chairs around the island.  “I’m confused, but otherwise I’m fine.”

“What happened?” Dean slid the fries over to him and grabbed him a vanilla coke from the fridge as he prompted him to speak.

Castiel smiled briefly at the fries, before he started his story. “My coworker Daphne asked me to help her build a desk from Ikea and I tried to turn her down, but she insisted so I agreed.”

Dean busied himself with finishing dinner, but made sure he could see Castiel, which meant he saw the frown reappear as Castiel decided on what to say next.

Finally, he said,”I was only halfway finished when she ‘accidentally-“

_There’s those air quotes again_

“-slipped on a piece of wood and fell on top of me.” Castiel rolled his eyes. “Then she started giggling, so I laughed too but then she was kissing me and it felt like she was trying to devour me.”

“What’d you do?”

Castiel looked down at the fries guiltily. “I pushed her off and ran away,” he mumbled before he shoved a few fries in his mouth.

Dean took moment to process what he said, then he started laughing. “Cas! I can’t believe you _just ran away_!”

The other man blushed. “I didn’t know what else to do! I’ve never been blindsided like that before.”

“You didn’t know she liked you?”  Dean asked, biting down his laughter.

“I suspected, but I meant, I’ve never had anyone who I wasn’t interested in kiss me before,” Castiel explained, shoving a few more fries into his mouth.

_Oh._

“I’m sorry, man, I know what that’s like,” Dean offered as he plated their food. “People have always thought of me as _pretty_ and that’s earned me some unwelcome attention in the past.”

“How did _you_ deal with it?”

“I usually just pushed them off and politely told them I wasn’t interested, and if that wasn’t enough I’d tell them to go fuck themselves,” Dean answered, turning around to face him.

Castiel chuckled at that last part, then his expression changed and he seemed worried. “I don’t wish to make things at work uncomfortable.”

“Hate to break it to you, but you already did when you ran out on her,” Dean said.

Castiel sighed dreadfully. “I suppose you’re right. I should just talk to her and explain myself.”

Dean grinned. “Of course I’m right.” He turned and grabbed their plates. “Now, do you want to eat in here or the living room?”

Castiel smiled at him. “Living room. I would like to watch something while we eat to forget about my embarrassing night.”

Dean nodded. “Sure. What do you want to watch?”

“Can we watch that Cupcake show again?” Castiel asked.

Dean laughed. “Yeah, we can watch Cupcake Wars.”

Dean set their plates on the coffee table then started up their entertainment while Castiel grabbed their drinks and half empty basket of fries from the kitchen. They spent all of dinner rooting for opposing bakers and having minor arguments about which cupcakes looked superior. In the end, Castiel’s chosen baker won and he looked at Dean smugly.

* * *

 

Dean woke up to Castiel shaking him gently.

“Whasit?” Dean muttered as he slowly sat up, blinking rapidly until he could keep his eyes open.

“I’m making lunch,” Castiel said.

“What time is it?” Dean asked.

“Three. You left your phone in the kitchen and it’s gone off eight times since I’ve been awake,” Castiel replied, handing Dean his phone.

Dean groaned at having to deal with a lecture about not answering his phone from Jo, then got off the couch and stretched.

“You should shower.” Castiel said.

“You sayin I stink, Cas?” Dean asked in mock offense.

“I just thought you might want to wash off all that drool,” Castiel deadpanned.

“I don’t-,” Dean cut off as he finally registered his forearm and mouth were wet.

Castiel smiled as Dean grimaced.

“Shut up,” Dean muttered as he wiped off his mouth.

Castiel informed him that he was making them chicken sandwiches and would meet him in the kitchen after he showered before he walked out.

Dean made his way up to his room where he gathered up his clothes, then went to his bathroom. He checked the messages on his phone, cursing when he realized he still hadn’t apologized to Sam when he read his brother’s messages.

| _I’m sorry about yesterday. I was just surprised_.|

_Yeah, you can everyone else._

_|You can’t seriously still be mad? Come on, Dean.|_

_|Dean? |_

He shot back a short apology text, deciding to answer everyone else later, before undressing and getting in the shower.

_How do I explain Cas to everyone?_

_I mean, they already know about him, but how do I explain that I felt I needed a roommate at thirty six? Especially when I don’t need the money._

Dean sighed. “I should’ve thought about that, huh?”

He really didn’t want to explain why he’d gotten a roommate to anyone, but he wasn’t sure what he could deflect with.

_Maybe I could ask Cas to lie._

Dean snorted.

_And say what exactly?_

_I need you to lie about why you moved in? Yeah, cos that’s a totally normal thing to do._

Dean shoved away his thoughts and concentrated on getting himself clean. It didn’t matter. If he was questioned he’d just come up with some bullshit story.

* * *

 

Dean walked into the kitchen and found Cas sitting at the table eating his sandwich, petting Poe with his foot lazily under the table.

Dean joined the other man, immediately reaching for the coffee that sat next to his plate.

“Your editor came by,” Castiel said.

Dean sighed contentedly at the taste of coffee before asking, “Yeah? What did he want?”

“He came to drop off some contract. It’s over on the counter.”

“Probably just the papers to sign away my rights over the Judge,” Dean said.

“The Judge?”

“A series I wrote. The Milton Network wants to make it into a TV show.”

“Really? That's amazing!”Castiel said. “What is the Judge about?”

“It’s about this bionic cowboy named Jesse McCree who wanders around this dystopian wasteland looking for a purpose. Along the way, he protects those he deems innocent and kills those he sees as villains and earns the nickname ‘the Judge’.”

“Sounds interesting,” Castiel said.”Do you have a copy I can read? I’m almost done with Fall Away.”

Dean looked at him a moment, then smiled. “Yeah. I have a copy of all my books in my office if you want to make your way through all of them.”

“I think I’ll try,” Castiel replied.

The conversation dropped as they started to dig into their lunch.

The ringing of the doorbell broke the comfortable silence that had surrounded them for all of five minutes..

Dean got up to answer it, leaving Castiel to put away their dirty dishes.

He was surprised to see a slightly frantic looking Adam and Jo.

“Are you okay?” Jo asked.

Dean looked at her confused. “Yeah, why?”

“You didn’t answer your phone,” Adam explained.

“I was asleep.”

“And you didn’t answer when Sam tried to Skype you,” Jo added.

“I was hanging out with Cas,” Dean said. “Is it a crime not to answer a call when I’m having fun?”

“Of course not, but you could’ve sent a text to let us know you were alright!” Jo said.

Dean bristled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I had to send you a play by play of my life!”

“Dean, that’s not what-”

  
Dean wasn’t finished though. “You act like I can’t be left alone too along, I’m not a kid Jo! I don’t need someone always checking up on me! I bet you don’t even check on Noah this much, I mean shit Jo, just admit you’re afraid I’m going to off myself already!”

Jo didn’t get a chance to argue as Dean slammed the door in her face and stormed off to his office. He sat in his chair and laid his head on his desk miserably.

_Shit. Why did I do that?_

* * *

 

Dean had finally managed to write Rosario’s realization she was in love with Maria when Castiel walked into the study and spun Dean’s chair around so he was facing him.

Dean looked at him surprised and confused.

“Your brother and I are about to watch a movie and we’d like for you to join us,” Castiel said,

“Adam’s still here?” Dean asked.

Castiel nodded. “He wanted to spend his day off with you.”

Dean felt guilt wash over him. “I’ll be there in a minute,” he promised.

Castiel spun the chair around so Dean was facing the computer again. “We’ll be waiting.”

Dean saved all his work and turned off his computer before going downstairs to the living room. Adam was sat on the couch, staring at his phone, Cas nowhere in sight.

“Hey,” Dean greeted cautiously.

Adam looked up as he put away his phone. “Hey.”

“Where’s Cas?” Dean asked.

“He’s ordering thai in the kitchen,” Adam said.

Dean nodded. “So, uh, what happened to Jo?”

“She went to the movies with Noah.”

“Is she mad?” Dean asked.

Adam nodded. “Not at you though. She thinks she’s been too up your ass about everything and feels like it’s her fault you’re upset.”

Dean sighed. “I didn’t mean to snap at her, I’m just getting tired of her always checking on me, and doesn’t that just sound fucked up? I’m getting irritated because someone cares enough to make sure I’m okay.”

“Dean, you didn’t have anyone to worry over you for most of your life,” Adam pointed out. “You were always the one worrying about everyone else, even Dad, even after he abandoned you. You’re not used to it, especially with how intense Jo can be.”

Dean felt uncomfortable, but luckily Castiel walked in with the announcement that dinner was on the way.

_At least one of us is emotionally well adjusted, huh?_

* * *

 

Dean spent the whole day watching shitty horror movies with his brother and roommate. He actually felt content for once and thought maybe he should try to do it more often.

“Do you have anything I can snack on? I’m starving,” Adam said,

Dean found Chopped and pushed play before setting the remote on the table. “Why don’t you guys watch this and I’ll whip up something?”

“Works for me, Daddy Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes as he stood up.  “That was cute when you were four, but now it’s just creepy.”

“But you’re my Daddy, Dean.”

“Dude, quit or I’ll kick you out right now,” Dean threatened.

Adam laughed. “Fine, but bring me a drink?”

“Sure. Want anything, Cas?” Dean asked.

“A coke please,” Castiel said.

Dean ruffled his younger brother’s hair as he walked by him.  “Be back in a minute.”

Adam kicked his butt in retaliation, then settled in to watch the show with Castiel.

* * *

 

“Hungry?”

Dean looked to his right and saw Castiel was standing next to him with a bag and cup from McDonald’s in his hands.

“Starving,” he answered, taking them from Castiel’s hands.

“Breakfast is courtesy of Barry who just stopped by to pick up the contract before he went to work,” Castiel said.

“You know, he’s gonna start to think I’m avoiding him if you always answer the door for me,” Dean said.

“Aren’t you kind of avoiding him?” Castiel asked.

“I mean, yeah kind of, but he can’t know that,” Dean said.

Castiel shook his head. “Why is it so hard to create a dream world for your character? Based on what you told me, you create new worlds from scratch all the time.’

“Because my readers will assume the dream world I create is what I really want so I have to be careful.”

“Why can’t you just be honest?” Castiel asked.

“They won’t like it,” Dean said.

“How do you know?”

Dean didn't know, but he still insisted. “I just know.”

“Why don’t you tell me and I’ll tell you what I think?” Castiel suggested.

Dean hesitated.

“‘Just tell me one thing if you don’t want to tell me everything,” Castiel said.

Dean nodded and took a steadying breath as he thought about what to say.

“I’m my own boss. I don’t have to answer to anybody or meet any deadlines for a book,” Dean said.”I’d own my own restaurant. Not a fancy place exactly, but a classy enough place people can bring their dates to and impress them.”

Castiel offered a small smile. “That sounds wonderful Dean.”

Dean blushed.

_I can’t believe I told him that._

“Yeah, well, even if that flies with the readers, I don’t know if the rest of it will,” Dean said, staring at his food.

Castiel was quiet a moment, then said. “You’re the author Dean. You control the story, not them. If you want to do something, you have every right to.”

Dean looked up at him with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Cas.”

“Anytime Dean,” Castiel said, smiling back in return, that same look in his eyes that made Dean feel safe.

Dean didn’t know how long they stared at each other, but the sound of a Skype call interrupted them.

“I have to get to work, but I’ll see you for dinner,” Castiel said, finally looking away from Dean to his phone.

“Yeah, see you,” Dean said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been months, I'm sorry! 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought of this chapter!
> 
> And yeah, i became Overwatch trash since the last time I updated so I couldn't help the Bionic Cowboy thing or naming him McCree.


End file.
